The Pirates Have Offered THIRTY (30) Years Of Season Tickets Behind Home Plate If You Find a Super Rare 1/1 Paul Skenes Baseball Card - Update: Livvy Dunne Has Invited The Lucky Person to Watch a Game With Her In a Suite

A few days ago Topps announced they'd be releasing a 1/1 Rookie Debut Patch Autographed baseball card of Paul Skenes. Admittedly I'm not as into collecting sports cards as I was when I was a kid. My prized possession, however, was a Roy Halladay rookie autograph that I was told would be pretty valuable if he got into the HOF and later on died. 

Well, I lost the card. 

One day as I'm kicking things around in my childhood home I'll stumble upon it as it falls from the ceiling somehow, but for now it's nowhere to be found. Anyways, here's the Skenes card that would certainly fetch a pretty penny if you got your hands on it.

To give you an idea of its value, the Pirates are offering 30 years of season tickets behind home plate along with some other fun stuff in exchange for the card. Bananas offer. Actually pretty cool by them. 

So that begs the question, how much would this go for? After doing a small amount of research it looks like Anthony Volpe's version of this rare card went for $150,000. So for Skenes we have to be talking a minimum $500k right? Maybe even a full milly!? This thing is a Willy Wonka golden ticket to happiness. 

30 years of seats behind home plate is a sick offer if you're a die hard Pirates fan. Credit to the organization for actually putting up a cool package of shit here. Is Bob Nutting tied up in a closet somewhere? The Pittsburgh PIRATES are offering this? Maybe this is their one shot to get in his good graces so that he blindly signs a cheap extension. Normally, if you catch a record setting home run ball a team will send two SEAL Team Six members after you with some signed bats and balls in an effort to prevent you from leaving the park with the prized possession. Always leave the stadium with the ball, always. You must resist their "kindness" when the other option is six figures. 

If a true Buccos fan gets their hands on this card their brain may be so defeated and/or damaged from the years of losing that they just take the seats and the rest of the offer from the team. Maybe you throw a wrinkle in the deal and have Livvy join you for a few games in the seats. 

My god, you hear that? It's Livvy's music!

That was weird. I had the Livvy part typed out as I scheduled the blog and then she actually threw her hat in the ring. Great minds think alike. Alright fuck it, it's just money, take the seats! Wait a second, based on her wording, you can technically sell the card for all of King Midas' silver AND sit with her in the suite. That sound you heard was Meek Phill dropping his laptop and sprinting out of this office. 

Okay, rational brain is fighting back into the blog. Imagine you're just sitting there in May as the Pirates are 10-20 thinking that you willingly took those seats instead of a MILLION dollars. You just know Klemmer would take the Pirates offer in a heart beat and move to Pittsburgh for the rest of his life. Find the card, take the money, be happy. 

Murder/sadistic brain has entered the room….what about you find the card, channel your inner joker, and burn it to ashes for all to see as you say "it's about sending a message." That's true power. 

Let the manhunt begin.